More Than a Story: Part 1~Ali Cummings

More than a Story
Part 1

I sat in bedroom reading one of the stories Milly had written. It was the story she had written about Tod dying. She had changed all of the names, but I knew who the characters were.

It was a day like any other. I got up in the morning at nine o’clock, and had breakfast. I got dressed into blue jeans and a red t-shirt and walked down the hall to officially start my day.My mom and Renee were talking, and Hannah was playing with her model horses. It was a normal, winter’s day, and I was content.
After grabbing two mini bagels, I went back into my room and sat down to read. I heard the TV flick to life, but I ignored it. I could have sworn I heard the reporter say "McMillen", but it had to be my imagination. I heard Renee gasp. My mom said something like, "No way!" But it wasn’t a "like, no wa-ay!" kinda "no way." It was a no way that said that something serious just happened. And stupid me, I just ignored it.
It wasn’t until later did I find out.
Mommy came into my room and looked at me sitting on my bed, still reading. When I finally looked up, she had tears in her eyes. "Megan," she began, and walked over to sit beside me on my bed.I wondered what was going on. I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach, but I didn’t even know why.She held onto one of my hands and squeezed it. "Megan, I am about to say something that will upset you very much, but I want you to know that everything’s going to be OK," She stopped, tears springing again. She took a deep breath, and my heart jumped into my throat. "Sam died in a car accident this morning."I stopped breathing. Wherever my heart was before, it was now in shattered pieces in my feet. The world started to spin, and I began breathing again. But the moment I began to breathe, a sob caught me, and, before I knew it, I was sobbing inconsolably into my pillow, and my mom was sympathetically rubbing my back, saying things I couldn’t make out.
Sam was gone. Nothing else seemed important, not even the exciting part in my book where I had left off. Not even the other half of my second mini bagel that was sitting on my blanket next to me. Not even that it was only two weeks till my birthday, and it was supposed to be warmer than usual. Sam was dead.
And nothing else mattered.
~ ** ~ * ~ * ~ ** ~
I awoke three days later with a heavy heart, heavier than it had been the last two days when I had woken up (if this was even possible). It was the day of my best friend’s funeral.I got dressed in my black peasant top that I had worn to the Shine Talent Show and my long black skirt. Shine. It seemed like decades ago, when, in reality, it had been only months ago.Suddenly my mind went astray. To when we first walked into church on the night of the Shine Talent Show. I walked in just as Sam walked out of the bathroom. He had looked at me up and down, and then said hi. Then my mind did another flashback. I was wearing a suede shirt with elbow length flowing sleeves and a long denim skirt, and my brown boots. I walked into Sunday School and instantly, everyone turned to see who it was. Sam turned and looked at me. Then he turned around again and looked a second time, and then a third. I smiled and waltzed in to take my seat next to him. And then I was standing in a bunch of bushes, with Sam in front of me. I heard him hiss "get down!" and I made myself one with the ground, just in time too, because not far ahead of us, Renee, Sara, and Olivia turned around to see if anyone was following them. And then Sam and I were sitting side by side at the Clarity Conference, listening to music. And then we were back in the KFC, listening to the African Children’s Choir, sitting so close that our legs touched. And then we were sitting in Sunday School, listening intently to our teacher. And then we were everywhere we had ever been before. And then we were somewhere we were never. We were standing in church, and he looked so much different. He smiled at me, and I couldn’t hep but smile back. I heard the pastor, my uncle, talking, and then suddenly I began speaking, and he did too. I had no idea where I was. And then I looked out into the congregation to see half of my family sitting there, and some of his. Rachel, Lindsay, Tyler, and a bunch of other people were out there too. They had gotten so old! And then I knew where I was. I was where I had wanted to be all along. At my own wedding.
A sob came from me, and then the whole scene died away. I was in my room, dressed in black, and Sam was dead.
I sat on my bed and began to cry. But then I knew what I had to do. Wiping tears out of my eyes, I gathered a pencil and a piece of paper and began writing. I wrote exactly what I was thinking, and, just as I was finished pouring out my heart out onto the paper, my mom came into my room and asked me if I was ready.
"Yes," I replied, hastily shoving the paper into my pocket. "I’m ready."
~ ** ~ * ~ * ~ ** ~
The sky was gray. There wasn’t a cloud to be seen, but, nevertheless, it was as gray outside as gray can be.
We piled into the van and then clamored out of it when we arrived. Renee gave my hand a tight squeeze as we walked over to the site. I felt tears forming in my eyes as they came to rest on the coffin. My best friend in the world was in there. Dead. But I did not cry. Not yet.As we approached, I saw someone I recognized instantly start to walk towards us. Sara.She stopped and looked at me for a moment. And then she hugged me harder than usual. There were no words between us.
When we were apart, she looked at me, and tears sprang to her eyes. "I’m so sorry Meg," She said.
"Sorry? No, no, I should be saying that to you!" I protested.
"No. I know lots of people are sorry for me, so I’m going to be sorry for you instead." She took a deep breath. "I know how much you valued him, and I wish that you could have known from him just how much he valued you. He loved you, Meg. He really, really did."
My heart broke double after she was finished. He loved you, Meg. He really, really did. I wished then more than ever that I could have him back, if only for a minute, to tell him how much I loved him. But he’d never come back. And I would just have to learn to live with it.
The funeral took what seemed to me like an eternity. When it was over, everyone began to walk away, this way and that, some stopping to talk to others. I spotted Rachel Waymack and went to talk to her. I hugged her, and for a moment, I thought she was going to cry. She seemed so strong, yet so broken, and I wanted to cry just looking at her.
As Rachel and I went our separate ways, I saw someone I had not wanted to see there. Yet there she was. Ashlee Martin was talking to Sara. I swallowed hard and walked over to them. Ashlee glanced over my way, and I saw that she was crying too. Anger almost killed me. The only reason that she was here was because she had a huge crush on Sam while he was alive. While he was alive. All the fight went out of me when I thought of that. And suddenly I finally felt as if we were equal, both there for the same reasons. It was almost a good feeling; something I hadn’t felt in three days. And that’s when I decided to do it.Slipping away from my mom and Renee, I walked up to where the coffin was, took the paper out of my pocket, turned, and, before anyone could stop me, began reading.
"I can’t tell you how much it pains me to say these things, so I guess I’ll just start from the beginning."
A couple people looked up, and I got louder.
"If you asked me to recall a favorite memory, you’d be standing here all day. All year even."
Now I had everyone’s undivided attention.
"And few know how many there really were. But even fewer know the next thing that I am going to say." I took a deep, shaky breath and continued. "Along with being the brother I never had, he and I shared something special. Like, the kind of thing that runs deeper than the friendship we had. Yes, ladies and gentlemen. I was in love with Sam McMillen. And if I have ever been sure of one thing in my whole life, it’s that he felt the same way. And I think that’s going to make it all the worse when I realize that I have to let him go."
I turned around and faced the ground where my best friend would be.
"But he won’t be here." I muttered to myself. "But I’ll miss you, Sam. I’ll see you later, and . . ." I choked back a sob. "I love you."
And with that, I ran away from the crowd, and away from the site. I ran until I got to our van, and there, I sat next to it and surrendered to the tears that threatened to engulf me and swallow me whole. I hadn’t meant to run, but I couldn’t stay there. It was all too hard. I was nearly fourteen, and I had just lost my best friend.
After a while, my mom and Renee came to find me. Renee wrapped one of her arms around my shoulders, which were heaving with the tears that choked me beyond speech, and my mom sat next to me and did the same.
We sat there wordlessly for what seemed like an eternity. And then finally, my mom’s voice, just audible enough for me to hear it, came through. "Do you want to just go home?" She asked, her voice tearful as well. I sat lost in thought for a long time.
"Yes," I replied finally, marveling at how I had come to find my voice. "Yes, I do."