Special Delivery~Lisa Callum

Special Delivery


Friday was spent cleaning the house. I was lucky enough to be let out of bed for this. A chore as it was, I was just happy to be out of bed for something, even if it meant vacuuming all the rooms in the house and dusting every flat surface. The problem was not the work, but the anxiousness that accompanied all thoughts of the Teen Game Night. I had started to have doubts about giving the note to Tod. Maybe it wasn’t what Milly wanted at all. I had not consulted with her about it when she was alive, so I had no way of knowing what she would want now. Would it really affect her that much now that she was dead? It wouldn’t. So why shouldn’t I give the note to Tod. But if it didn’t make any difference to her, why should I give the note to Tod. It was all so confusing. Wouldn’t it just be easier if things stayed the way they were?
Despite all the confusion I felt in the pit of my stomach, I made myself tuck the note into my pocket on the way out to the car. It was better to have it and not need it then to need it and not have it. I told myself I would probably end up taking it home just as I had taken it there, but I kept it in my pocket just in case. It didn’t take us long to drive to the Teen Game Night, or at least it didn’t seem like it.
I stumbled out of the car and on to the sidewalk. My mom ran over to me from the other side of the car. “Are you okay? Do you need to sit down?” She offered, taking my arm. I decided against struggling.
“I’m fine, really. I don’t need anything.” I said, faking a smile. I continued up the driveway, blaming my shoes every time I stumbled. When I finally got inside the house, I noticed the Belles were already there. I spotted Tod and Niki immediately, but I couldn’t find Joe. I walked over to Niki.
“Where’s your dad?” I asked. This was not really the question I had wanted to ask, but I told myself the other question could wait.
“He just dropped us off. He’s coming back later to get us. How have you been?” She asked. I could hear the touch of concern creep into her voice as she said it and I wished I could tell her everything that had happened that week from my dad coming to the house, to the restraining order, but there was no time for that now.
“I’m fine.” I lied. “Niki, can I ask you something?” I asked. Niki was the closest person I knew to Tod. She would know how Tod really felt about Milly.
“Yeah. What’s up?” She said. She stood quietly and waited for me to ask my question.
“Well, I don’t really know how to explain this.” I said. I reached in my pocket and slipped out the note Milly had written to Tod.
“Is that from…?” She pointed to the note. I nodded.
“I found her writing that in her room when she was about twelve, a couple years after she met Tod. When she died, I went into her room and tried to find it. I finally found it in a false bottom in the drawer of her bedside table,” I smiled. “along with about thirty other notes, all addressed to him.” I said. Niki’s mouth dropped open.
“That’s unbelievable.” She said.
“Well I was thinking, now that she’s gone, maybe I should give him this one. I just think it’s what Milly would want,” I wasn’t so sure about the last part, but I forced the lump in my throat away and convinced myself that she would. “but I don’t know if it’s really what she would want.” I said, voicing my thoughts.
“Give it to him.” She said. “I’ll tell you a secret. After Milly died, Tod went up into his room and wrote this same kind of note to Milly. Then he went to a clearing in the woods and carved a heart into a tree. I’m not sure what he did with the note, but I’m sure he still has it.” She smiled. “He’d be so happy if he knew that Milly wrote a note for him too.” I nodded.
“I’ll give it to him then.” I said. “Thanks.” I turned and looked for Tod somewhere in the sea of people. When I finally found him, he was standing in the kitchen, pretty much alone. I walked over to him.
“Hey Tod.” I said. It sounded stupid, but I really couldn’t think of anything else to say. He looked up.
“Hey.” He said. I looked down at the floor, refusing to meet his gaze.
“I…um…I just wanted to give you…give you this.” I stuttered. I held out the piece of paper I was still holding tightly in my hand. The words “TOD BELLE” were written on the front of it in all capital letters. The handwriting was easily recognizable to anyone who had known her.
He took it gingerly in his hands and read the words written on the front of the folded paper. “Is this…?”
“From Milly?” I said, finishing his question. “Yes. She wrote it for you when she was about twelve years old. I thought you should have it.” I coughed. “It was addressed to you.” I stated the obvious.
He didn’t seem to be listening. He was gently unfolding the paper, as if afraid it might tear if he opened it too fast. When he finally had it unfolded all of the way, he read it to himself, ignoring any of the stupid things I might have been saying. He stood for fifteen minutes, reading and rereading the note. As I watched him, I saw his eyes move down the paper, left to right, then back to the top to read it a second, third and fourth time.
He let his arm drop, still clutching tightly to the note, and looked up at me. He had tears in his eyes and a weak smile on his face. “Thank you.” He whispered. “Thank you so much.” He walked back into the crowd, slowly folding the paper as he went.