Understanding~Milly Callum

Understanding


I didn’t know whether to cry or scream with joy. I felt pain for Niki and Ali, but for Tod and myself, I couldn’t have been happier. I was going to see him again. And I had already made myself a promise. I wasn’t going to keep it a secret this time. He was going to know how I felt about him. After all these years, he would know.
Before I could continue the celebration of our approaching reunion, I was hit with a thought that sent my head whirling. Where was he? I tried to think of how long it had been from the time I had died to the time I awakened in the empty room with Alana, but I couldn’t remember anything.
I closed my eyes, hoping something in the back of my mind could remember, but again, I drew a blank. My curiosity sent my flying down the stairs and out the front doors of what was now my home. The trip down the golden street took far less time than normal, but whether it was due to my excitement for what was to come, or from my wings carrying me of their own accord several times, I couldn’t be sure.
When I came to a stop at the throne, God was standing, waiting for me with a warm smile on his face. I threw myself against him, but he stood firm.
“What is it?” He asked, though I knew full well he already knew my thoughts. Even so, I phrased my question carefully.
“When…” I paused. “When do I get to see Tod?” I asked, deciding on my first phasing of the question.
His smile suddenly fell and I was stuck by a sense of panic. “What is it?” I said. Unlike him, I didn’t have the ability to read peoples thoughts before even themselves. I could, however, read his face and it was definitely not conveying good news.
“You will see him again,” He promised. This gave me a glimpse of hope, but his face still didn’t look hopeful. I waited for him to finish. “But he cannot come here.” He finished.
My heart sunk down into the bottom of my stomach. Instinctively, my mind raced to the obvious, yet incomprehensible answer.
“Do you mean that Tod is in Hell?” I asked. Even as I said the words, my voice broke. He couldn’t be in Hell. Of all the people I’d known on earth, Tod was never one I considered not to go to heaven. I hadn’t spent a week with him before I knew this.
But now everything I had thought about him seemed to turn up-side down. I was quickly brought back to reality by God’s warm hands on my shoulders. I looked up at his face and he wiped away a tear from my cheek.
“He is not in Hell.” He assured me. I sighed and realized I’d been holding my breathe and biting my lip. One more question came to mind.
“When will I see him?” I asked. He smiled.
“Have patience, my child.” He said. “You will see him when the time is right.” I nodded in agreement. He looked at me, instantly reading that my mind was not yet satisfied. “What is it?” He asked, again limiting himself so that he was on a human thinking level.
“Did you hear Niki’s prayer?” I asked. If I was going to see Tod soon, I guessed the best thing to do was give in to the sympathy I felt for Niki and the rest of Tod’s family. Again, he smiled the warm smile that told me he had everything under his control.
“I did.” He answered. I waited for him to say more. “Milly, I will always be with her. You don’t need to worry about her.” He said. It was my turn to smile.
“I still do.” I said to Him.
“You always had a gift for understanding my way of thinking.” He said. I gave him a questioning look. “How many people have told me not to worry with them?” He asked. I ran through the unknown statistics in my head. Finally, I sighed.
“Too many?” I asked; we both laughed.
“Precisely. Does it mean I oblige, and let them fall to the hands of evil?” He asked. The questions were getting difficult, but I kept the answers coming as best I could.
“No?” I guessed. He didn’t respond. He knew I had more to say. “But, if you don’t let anyone fall to the hands of evil, why do bad things happen to such good people?” I asked. One part of me longed for an answer from the only one I knew could give it. The other half of me was scared of his response. But again, he simply smiled warmly and answered calmly.
“Have you ever tried to save a friend from a wrong decision, say, getting involved with some of the wrong people?” I nodded. “Did you do that because you wanted control of them, or for their own good?” He asked.
“For their good.” I answered, anxious to see where the hypothetic situation was going to lead.
“Did they see it for what it was?” He asked. I shook my head. “They turned from you, accused you of taking control of what was not yours to take.” I nodded. The memories were only too fresh in my mind. I stared down at my feet.
“Only one more question.” He promised. I looked back up at him, preparing myself for the toughest question yet. “When she fell, were you able to catch her?” The question itself was not hard to answer at all. It was a simply yes or no question with the answer being obvious. What hit me wrong was the memories that came flooding back because of the question. I shook my head.
“She didn’t let me.” I said. A light bulb went off in my head. “Is that why bad things happen? You try to help people, but they don’t want your help?” I asked. He nodded.
“I try to stop the suffering. I’ve been there.” My head jerked up.
“But how-” I stopped. The God I had seen everyday for the past few weeks had disappeared. Standing in his place was a younger looking version of him, with shoulder-length brown hair, wearing a white robe. He reached to touch my face, but I drew back quickly when I saw what was on the hand he held toward me.
What I saw was a scar, where a nail had been hammered through his very hand. “Jesus?” I asked.
He smiled, filled with the joy of youth. “The very same.” He said, holding out his hand for me to shake. Instead of taking his hands, I threw my arms around his waist.
When I stepped back, he was still smiling. While I was still trying to figure out why I had never seen him before in heaven, he continued his introduction.
“I believe you just met my father.”