Better Than Wings~Milly Callum

Better than Wings


I sat on my bed and looked around the room. It looked just like the church. It had just as much life. It was only missing my friends. I glanced at the golden box on my dresser. I took it in my hands, wondering whether or not I should look into it. Whether or not I should open the lid and look back. My hand laid on top of the lid and my thumb grasped the edge. I slowly opened the hinge of the box, my eyes shut tight. I heard talking, barely above a whisper and looked down to see Lisa and Cassy talking. Something wasn’t right. Lisa was in a hospital bed. I listened closely to their conversation. I could catch only bits and pieces of it, but one thing caught my attention. I closed my eyes, my way of concentrating on their thoughts. I could feel what Lisa felt. She was sad. She was nervous. I opened my eyes. She was scared. I looked down into the box once again, and my mother entered the room with Lisa and Cassy. I closed the lid on the gold box.
I could watch my friends, but I could not watch my mother pretend to be happy when I knew she felt like bursting into tears. Lisa was becoming so similar. I had watched her cry many times, but never in front of anyone. I set the box back on the table. I would not even look at it. It was not going to help at all, but I knew what would. I stood up from my bed and walked to the door. Stepping quickly down the stairs, I put together exactly what I would say in my head. When I got to the bottom of the stairs, I reached for the golden handle of the grand front door, and checked one last time that I was saying exactly what I wanted.
I pulled the handle of the door and stepped out into the warm, spring-like air. I walked down the street in the direction that I knew would lead me to God’s throne. The streets, as God had promised, were paved with gold, but none the less felt like warm sand on my bare feet. I could not help but smile as I walked down the wide path. True to the many paintings and pictures I’d seen, angels did posses wings. I questioned God about this when I first arrived here. I had looked around me and seen angels everywhere, all with wings. Still, when I looked up, I saw nothing but a blue sky with several fluffy white clouds.
He had answered me with a sure answer. He had told me that I too would have wings, but one walk down the road with him told me that I would hardly ever need the majestic wings. I loved the warmth on my feet too much to dare leave it behind.
Returning to the present, I now stood at the feet of the king. Most would expect that I bowed before him and proclaimed myself unworthy. Those people would be wrong. I ran to him and embraced him, as I did every morning. He hugged me back, as always, and we would talk for as long as I wanted. I never wanted to part with him, but sometimes I would run out of words to describe just how much I loved him. He was my father.
This morning, however, I had a specific reason as to why I had come. As usual, he noticed right away. This was not a surprise to me, as He was all-knowing.
“What is it, my child? You are troubled.” I explained to him what was happening to Lisa, and what she needed, and how I could not help her.
“But you can.” I finished. “She needs your help. She’s scared.” He put his hand delicately on my shoulder, and again, the warm pulse flowed through me.
“I have her. I am sheltering her. Should she need anything, I will be there for her. Thank you for talking to me. I know you’re terribly worried about her.” I embraced him tightly, stopping his sentence. Moving his head, so that it was just above my shoulder.
“You need not worry about anything.” He whispered into my ear. I felt the tears coming until I could not hold them back any longer. I was weeping on God’s shoulder, and he was letting my rest. He was giving me a place to hide. To hide from anything and everything that was weighing on my shoulders.
I have no idea how long we stood there, but before long, I realized just what my silky white wings were for. They held you up when your legs felt as though they would not support one ounce of your weight. When it felt like your arms could not grip anything to steady your shaky legs. When it felt as though your head would not focus on anything for your hands to grip. When your eyes were too clouded with tears to see something for your head to focus on. That was when your wings took over the job of carrying you.
But sitting there with Him, I could not help but let the thought sink into my mind that I had something better than wings. I had the glue that held our lives together. I had the person that held my friends and family in the palm of his hand. I had the God that had single handedly led my to the person I loved most, put me in a place beyond any place I’d ever dreamed of, and been there with me when all of it was ripped away. And now he held he together. Just thinking of this ultimate love brought fresh tears to my face, and still he held me tight. I could not let him go…and I was so grateful for the fact that I wouldn’t have to.