Her Lullaby
“Mom, I don’t need any more rest. I slept all day yesterday and all the day before that.” I said, trying my best to pull free from the hold she had on my wrists. In the past few days, I had only left my room for meals and to go to the bathroom, if that. I was lucky if she even let me out of the bed to eat.
“Of course you do. You’ve already collapsed twice. We don’t want that to happen again, no we?” She had the same smile plastered on her face from the day she picked me up from the hospital.
“I just want to practice the piano. It’s not that strenuous. I won’t collapse, I promise.” I said. After Milly died, I had spent the vast majority of my free time in my room, teaching myself songs on the piano that Milly had always liked. It made me forget all the stress around me and let me just focus on one thing, even if it was only for a few seconds.
Mom didn’t give up easily, but she eventually let me get up just to practice. “Don’t be up too long. You still need all the rest you can get.” She said on her way out of the room. I rolled my eyes as she shut the door. I didn’t need anymore rest. I had had all the rest I could stand for today. I placed my fingers gently on the keys, at first at a loss for what to play.
When my fingers touched the ivory keys, they twitched as if ready to jump the next key without a second though. I smiled. I liked that feeling. I closed my eyes and searched my memory for a song until I came upon one Milly had written when she twelve years old. It required only piano accompaniment, and I knew the words by heart.
Without pausing to stretch my fingers, I moved them up and down the keyboard in a rhythmic motion. They glided over the keys, stopping only to strike certain keys and pass others. I opened my mouth and touched the tip of my tongue to the room of my mouth.
“She had done a lot of wrong in her life,” I sang. My voice was rough from the lack of use over the past few days, but I didn’t mind it. “Couple things when she should’ve thought twice, She remembers the day she went wrong, so wrong.” My voice gained strength. “She had planned out her entire life.” I kept on, my voice getting louder every second, until I sounded like I was singing professionally.
“A faithful child of God, singer, and a wife,” I paused only to catch my breath, and continued singing. “But a call to a different path turned her wrong, so wrong” I paused and played the measures that rested between the verse and chorus. I started the chorus on a light note, but with power behind it.
“And I close my eyes, and I see the girl, who tried so hard, not to be like the world, and then she fell, like a star from the sky, and now she’s layin’ here, sheddin’ tears,” I paused, as the song required me to. “singing her lullaby.” The chorus ended and I once again gave the sound of the piano dominance in the song. I took a deep breath to continue the song and was amazed at the steadiness of my fingers as they glided effortlessly across the keys. I was not unwilling to the motions, nor had a planned them, yet the sound the produced was faultless and pure.
“When she finally though, ‘what has happened to me? I opened my heart to the Enemy!’” I said the word with unplanned force, but it seemed to flow smoothly that way. My singing was unrehearsed, but sounded as though I’d sung the song from the time I’d learned to speak. It came easily, but somehow took all of my concentration; all of my effort.
“She went home to tell her friends she was sorry, so long. They said so long.” My foot pressed expertly on the pedal and my hands moved with the beat of the music the piano now produced. I kept singing. “She called her family to say hello, them and every other person she knows, but when she got to him, she got nothing but dial tone. So long.” I took a breath and opened my mouth to sing the chorus.
“And I close my eyes, and I see the girl, who tried so hard, not to be like the world, and then she fell, like a star from the sky, and now she’s layin’ here, sheddin’ tears,” Another short breath. “Singing her lullaby.” I started the last verse with a slower pace and a stronger and more determined air than I had in the last two verses.
“And when she got home that day, Turned out the light, She picked up his picture, Held onto it all night, And she thought about the love, To which she had said goodbye, That’s when the tears came, And she wrote…her lullaby” I lowered my voice to what almost could’ve been thought of as a whisper.
“And I close my eyes, and I see the girl, who tried so hard, not to be like the world, and then she fell, like a star from the sky, and now she’s layin’ here, sheddin’ tears, singing her lullaby.” My voice regained its strength and I continued.
“This is what happens when you just waste your every living day, this is what happens when you throw your whole life away, oh the consequences of all of our foolish mistakes, oh the pain and suffering and price we have to pay, don’t you know that there is a price you’ll have to pay?, a price you’ll have to pay, a price you’ll have to pay, someday” I played the final few measures and again reduced the volume of my voice to that of a whisper. “Singing her lullaby.” I pressed the final key of the piece, but my fingers remained on the keyboard.
“That’s some nice singin’ you done there.” I jumped and looked up from the piano, startled. Standing in the doorway was the one person that I never wanted to see anywhere, in my doorway or otherwise.
My father.
“Mom, I don’t need any more rest. I slept all day yesterday and all the day before that.” I said, trying my best to pull free from the hold she had on my wrists. In the past few days, I had only left my room for meals and to go to the bathroom, if that. I was lucky if she even let me out of the bed to eat.
“Of course you do. You’ve already collapsed twice. We don’t want that to happen again, no we?” She had the same smile plastered on her face from the day she picked me up from the hospital.
“I just want to practice the piano. It’s not that strenuous. I won’t collapse, I promise.” I said. After Milly died, I had spent the vast majority of my free time in my room, teaching myself songs on the piano that Milly had always liked. It made me forget all the stress around me and let me just focus on one thing, even if it was only for a few seconds.
Mom didn’t give up easily, but she eventually let me get up just to practice. “Don’t be up too long. You still need all the rest you can get.” She said on her way out of the room. I rolled my eyes as she shut the door. I didn’t need anymore rest. I had had all the rest I could stand for today. I placed my fingers gently on the keys, at first at a loss for what to play.
When my fingers touched the ivory keys, they twitched as if ready to jump the next key without a second though. I smiled. I liked that feeling. I closed my eyes and searched my memory for a song until I came upon one Milly had written when she twelve years old. It required only piano accompaniment, and I knew the words by heart.
Without pausing to stretch my fingers, I moved them up and down the keyboard in a rhythmic motion. They glided over the keys, stopping only to strike certain keys and pass others. I opened my mouth and touched the tip of my tongue to the room of my mouth.
“She had done a lot of wrong in her life,” I sang. My voice was rough from the lack of use over the past few days, but I didn’t mind it. “Couple things when she should’ve thought twice, She remembers the day she went wrong, so wrong.” My voice gained strength. “She had planned out her entire life.” I kept on, my voice getting louder every second, until I sounded like I was singing professionally.
“A faithful child of God, singer, and a wife,” I paused only to catch my breath, and continued singing. “But a call to a different path turned her wrong, so wrong” I paused and played the measures that rested between the verse and chorus. I started the chorus on a light note, but with power behind it.
“And I close my eyes, and I see the girl, who tried so hard, not to be like the world, and then she fell, like a star from the sky, and now she’s layin’ here, sheddin’ tears,” I paused, as the song required me to. “singing her lullaby.” The chorus ended and I once again gave the sound of the piano dominance in the song. I took a deep breath to continue the song and was amazed at the steadiness of my fingers as they glided effortlessly across the keys. I was not unwilling to the motions, nor had a planned them, yet the sound the produced was faultless and pure.
“When she finally though, ‘what has happened to me? I opened my heart to the Enemy!’” I said the word with unplanned force, but it seemed to flow smoothly that way. My singing was unrehearsed, but sounded as though I’d sung the song from the time I’d learned to speak. It came easily, but somehow took all of my concentration; all of my effort.
“She went home to tell her friends she was sorry, so long. They said so long.” My foot pressed expertly on the pedal and my hands moved with the beat of the music the piano now produced. I kept singing. “She called her family to say hello, them and every other person she knows, but when she got to him, she got nothing but dial tone. So long.” I took a breath and opened my mouth to sing the chorus.
“And I close my eyes, and I see the girl, who tried so hard, not to be like the world, and then she fell, like a star from the sky, and now she’s layin’ here, sheddin’ tears,” Another short breath. “Singing her lullaby.” I started the last verse with a slower pace and a stronger and more determined air than I had in the last two verses.
“And when she got home that day, Turned out the light, She picked up his picture, Held onto it all night, And she thought about the love, To which she had said goodbye, That’s when the tears came, And she wrote…her lullaby” I lowered my voice to what almost could’ve been thought of as a whisper.
“And I close my eyes, and I see the girl, who tried so hard, not to be like the world, and then she fell, like a star from the sky, and now she’s layin’ here, sheddin’ tears, singing her lullaby.” My voice regained its strength and I continued.
“This is what happens when you just waste your every living day, this is what happens when you throw your whole life away, oh the consequences of all of our foolish mistakes, oh the pain and suffering and price we have to pay, don’t you know that there is a price you’ll have to pay?, a price you’ll have to pay, a price you’ll have to pay, someday” I played the final few measures and again reduced the volume of my voice to that of a whisper. “Singing her lullaby.” I pressed the final key of the piece, but my fingers remained on the keyboard.
“That’s some nice singin’ you done there.” I jumped and looked up from the piano, startled. Standing in the doorway was the one person that I never wanted to see anywhere, in my doorway or otherwise.
My father.
OMG that made me cry!!! It's like you knew the music to it without knowing it!!!
ReplyDelete"wantee" ... OLO
Keep up the uh-maze-ing writing, Pweasl!!! xD