Lessons Learned
I sat quietly in the hospital bed, sipping my steaming coffee, careful not to burn my mouth. I looked around the room and smiled when my eyes found what they were looking for. Mom had brought my purse and left it in the chair. I stepped out of the bed and stepped across the room. I shivered as my bare feet touched the cold linoleum floor. I reached to grab my purse strap and my hand slipped. I sighed, willing my arm to stop shaking. I grasped the handle of my purse tightly. Holding the purse against my side, I stepped over and sat down on the edge of the bed. I rifled through the purse until I found what I was looking for. It was a small purple notepad that served as my prayer journal. I flipped to an empty page in the notebook and started writing.
Dear God, I don’t know what’s gonna happen now,
but I know that whatever it is, I need you. You were
there for me during the divorce, and when we left the
church, and I need you now. Help me show Cassy
that I want to be there for her. And tell Milly I love her.
I studied the entry I had made into the prayer journal. I dated the entry and was about to close the notebook when I heard someone come in. I looked up to see Niki and Ali.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, tossing the prayer journal on the side of the bed.
“We came to visit you and see how you were doing.” Ali said. We wanted to know if you were okay.” She answered shyly.
“Ali called me and told me what happened. Are you okay?” Niki added.
“I’ll survive.” I laughed. “I have to go to counseling. Apparently, they think I’m crazy. Now, what on earth would make them think that?” I said sarcastically.
“You are crazy.” Niki said, laughing. She paused. “What about the seizure? Do they know what caused it?” I swallowed.
“Yeah, they do. They found out this morning. They diagnosed me with psychosomatic syndrome. When I get really nervous, or really excited, or really depressed, I get something like a headache, or a seizure, or I just get shaky.” I saw the looks on their faces. “Don’t feel sorry for me. They said it’s all gonna be fine. All I have to do is go to counseling once a week to try and control my emotions, that’s all.”
Even with my reassurances, they still looked worried. “Guys, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry so much.” Okay, I could understand why they still looked worried. I did not believe my own words even as I spoke them. I tried to think of something to say. “My mom’s at home dropping Cassy off, and she’s coming back to get me in a few hours.”
“That’s good. I bet you can’t wait to get back in your own bed.” Niki said. I noticed Ali wasn’t saying much. I figured she was analyzing everything in her head. She was the kind of person that you told something, and five minutes later, she would return a perfect and well thought out answer. Sometimes she was just quiet. I suddenly remembered to answer Niki.
“Yeah. I can’t wait. This hospital bed is really uncomfortable.” I squirmed around in the bed to prove my point and Niki and Ali giggled. Niki looked at me, and then down at Ali.
“Well, I think we have to get going. I need to get home, preferably before my parents.” She looked back up at me.
“Thank you guys for coming. It really means a lot.” I said. Niki smiled and Ali was practically beaming.
“I’ll see you later.” Ali said quietly. Niki turned to leave and she followed.
“Bye.” I said as they walked out. When I could no longer see them, I turned my head sideways to look for the notebook that I had carelessly tossed to the side. When I found it in the folds of the covers, I opened to the page with my new entry on it. I suddenly remembered what Cassy had been doing when I found her. Praying for Milly, she had said. I had never known that you could pray for a person who was already in heaven. I guess they people you don’t really look up to can teach you a great lesson.
I sat quietly in the hospital bed, sipping my steaming coffee, careful not to burn my mouth. I looked around the room and smiled when my eyes found what they were looking for. Mom had brought my purse and left it in the chair. I stepped out of the bed and stepped across the room. I shivered as my bare feet touched the cold linoleum floor. I reached to grab my purse strap and my hand slipped. I sighed, willing my arm to stop shaking. I grasped the handle of my purse tightly. Holding the purse against my side, I stepped over and sat down on the edge of the bed. I rifled through the purse until I found what I was looking for. It was a small purple notepad that served as my prayer journal. I flipped to an empty page in the notebook and started writing.
Dear God, I don’t know what’s gonna happen now,
but I know that whatever it is, I need you. You were
there for me during the divorce, and when we left the
church, and I need you now. Help me show Cassy
that I want to be there for her. And tell Milly I love her.
I studied the entry I had made into the prayer journal. I dated the entry and was about to close the notebook when I heard someone come in. I looked up to see Niki and Ali.
“What are you guys doing here?” I asked, tossing the prayer journal on the side of the bed.
“We came to visit you and see how you were doing.” Ali said. We wanted to know if you were okay.” She answered shyly.
“Ali called me and told me what happened. Are you okay?” Niki added.
“I’ll survive.” I laughed. “I have to go to counseling. Apparently, they think I’m crazy. Now, what on earth would make them think that?” I said sarcastically.
“You are crazy.” Niki said, laughing. She paused. “What about the seizure? Do they know what caused it?” I swallowed.
“Yeah, they do. They found out this morning. They diagnosed me with psychosomatic syndrome. When I get really nervous, or really excited, or really depressed, I get something like a headache, or a seizure, or I just get shaky.” I saw the looks on their faces. “Don’t feel sorry for me. They said it’s all gonna be fine. All I have to do is go to counseling once a week to try and control my emotions, that’s all.”
Even with my reassurances, they still looked worried. “Guys, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry so much.” Okay, I could understand why they still looked worried. I did not believe my own words even as I spoke them. I tried to think of something to say. “My mom’s at home dropping Cassy off, and she’s coming back to get me in a few hours.”
“That’s good. I bet you can’t wait to get back in your own bed.” Niki said. I noticed Ali wasn’t saying much. I figured she was analyzing everything in her head. She was the kind of person that you told something, and five minutes later, she would return a perfect and well thought out answer. Sometimes she was just quiet. I suddenly remembered to answer Niki.
“Yeah. I can’t wait. This hospital bed is really uncomfortable.” I squirmed around in the bed to prove my point and Niki and Ali giggled. Niki looked at me, and then down at Ali.
“Well, I think we have to get going. I need to get home, preferably before my parents.” She looked back up at me.
“Thank you guys for coming. It really means a lot.” I said. Niki smiled and Ali was practically beaming.
“I’ll see you later.” Ali said quietly. Niki turned to leave and she followed.
“Bye.” I said as they walked out. When I could no longer see them, I turned my head sideways to look for the notebook that I had carelessly tossed to the side. When I found it in the folds of the covers, I opened to the page with my new entry on it. I suddenly remembered what Cassy had been doing when I found her. Praying for Milly, she had said. I had never known that you could pray for a person who was already in heaven. I guess they people you don’t really look up to can teach you a great lesson.
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