Like Never Loved Before
I laid across the pew in the sanctuary, wiping my tears with the back of my hand. I could not forget the scene I had witnessed Tuesday morning when I woke up. How could he have been so insensitive? How could he say those kind of things? How could he even question the fact that Tod knew what love was? Another sob escaped my lips. I could not bear this a second longer. I jumped from the pew and ran up the stairs the my bedroom of the mansion. I flung the door open and grabbed the box of off of the dresser. I was about the throw it down on the floor, but when I held it above my head, I realized the importance of it. It was the only way I could see my friends and family; for now at least. I would not give that up. Not like this. I fell onto my bed and clutched the box in my trembling hands. I opened the lid and looked onto a scene of Ali running across the parking lot at the church towards the pavilion. I closed the lid. I would keep it, but I would not torture myself by looking into it. I would only look into it when I could not stand to be apart from them. I sighed, realizing that I missed them all the time. I set the box gently back on the bedside table, wondering what to do. A thought suddenly occurred to me. I was amazed I hadn’t thought of it sooner. I would ask the person with all the answers. I ran down the stairs of my mansion and out the door. I walked along the golden street, once again almost oblivious to the fact that I had wings. I wanted to get to him so badly that I started to run. My lungs did not burn, and my throat was not dry, as it had been on earth. I experienced no pain. I kept running, letting my feet touch the ground for only a fraction of a second before picking them back up again. Once, I stumbled and I threw my hands out to catch myself on impulse. I stopped. My wings had, of their own accord, lifted me back to a standing position. I continued down the road until I saw the throng of God standing before me. I stopped in front of him.
“What is it, my darling?” He said, already knowing my concerns long before I stated them.
“I don’t know what to do.” I confessed. “I just want to give up trying to stay close to them, but I can’t let them go. What do I do?” The last two sentences ran together with my attempt to get all the words in order.
“Only you can decide this. I know what is best for you, but you must make the choice of what you will do.” He said.
“Can you tell me what I should do?” I asked. At this point I was desperate for any help he could’ve given. “Please?” I felt my lip trembling as I said the word. I wanted to be back on earth. I wanted to be with Tod and with Ali. I wanted to be there to dry their tears and tell them that everything would be all right. But I couldn’t. I was no where near them. Even though I could see them, we were as separate as the sun and moon. We could not even come close to one another. We were in different worlds. My lip did more then tremble. It was quivering and I felt a tear roll down my face.
“Child, come now, why do you put yourself through this?” He asked, wrapping his arms around me and squeezing tightly. I was once again crying on his shoulder, but this time, my legs were perfectly capable of holding me.
“Why can’t I let them go?” I asked. I knew why I hadn’t been able to let them go when I was on earth, but now I had the ultimate love; the ultimate protector. Why did I still miss them so much? He read my thoughts before I had the chance to voice them.
“Just because you have me does not mean that you don’t need them. I designed you to need other people. That does not change now that you have entered my kingdom.” He put his hand under my chin and lifted my face so that I was looking at him. “You still love them.” The word stood out to me. Love. I had heard it over and over again on earth, but I had never realized just how much it meant. It was a word that most people on earth knew naught but the word and possibly how to spell it correctly. But when my Father said it, it held something…something special. Something that I could not ignore. I realized deep in my heart that love was all around and we failed to see it so many times. Looking back now, I seemed to have overlooked so many times when I could’ve shown love, but didn’t. Again, he read my thoughts.
“Do not distress. The past is behind you. The greatest gift I gave you was the gift of love. You used it whenever you saw that you could. I have many times forgiven you for the times when you did now show love.” He said. I wrapped my arms around his waist, unable to reach his neck, and let myself fall deeper into the warmth that he provided. This was real love; like I never loved before.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment